“You don’t know what you don’t know”. I will attribute this to Confucius since my friend Google does not know who said it first. The floor of the cab is rotted out with fifty years of rust and must be replaced. Earlier I purchased the replacement floor panels, both the right and left side. If I had been a little more observant and not so damn cheap I would have just bought the whole floor replacement panel. I did not find out until I was putting them together that the two half’s are an inch short in the middle, how would one know? My project just got a little more complicated.
I was cutting out the old rusty floor and having trouble as usual when Dale came by and said that Eastwood has a spot weld cutter to make the job easier, how would one know? Thank god for friendly advice, this tool is right up there with the Ronco Veg-o-matic - except it really works. For you English teachers out there, spot welding is similar to using a hot glue gun. Except instead of melting glue to stick two things together you use an electric arc to fuse the two pieces of metal together.
As you would expect it is a mother to take the already welded together panels apart. Enter the spot weld cutter. It surgically cuts a nice little circle off the top piece of metal and Voila, we have separation.
Since my Butt weld technique is a sad story, let’s just say my truck is still wearing Mom jeans to cover up my sorry work, instead of the low rise thong showing jeggins. Recognizing my limitations, I decided to use the spot weld method to attach the floor panels to the frame. Never mind that I had never spot welded or even hot glue gunned before, I was convinced it would be better. Did I hear someone say “you don’t know what you don’t know”.
The way you spot weld with a DIY home welder is to drill a hole in the top piece of sheet metal, then clamp the two pieces together, and then fill the hole with the glorious pool of shimmery molten metal. Dutifully I drilled about a hundred small holes in the floor panel, got it properly positioned and did my first spot weld. After I finished the cigarette, I spot welded a few more. Deciding to test my handiwork, I pulled up on the floor panel to see if it worked. Well, guess what, the panel came up so fast it nearly knocked me unconscious.
Reading the instructions again, I figured out my mistakes. I have to use advanced welder speak to explain the first one; I did not get enough penetration. I think this means I have to give back that cigarette. Now in English, my hole was not big enough – the second mistake, and the weld was not hot enough to get through to the bottom piece of metal.
It turns out I had my welder voltage set to “scared as shit” and the wire feed rate was on “miserly”. Inspired with knowledge I set the voltage to “river of magma” and the wire feed rate to “fill-your-boots”.
To fixed my other problem I went out and bought an Irwin step drill bit to enlarge my tiny holes - careful Jane. I have converted to the Church of Eastwood and their doctrine is that any problem can be fixed with a very specialize and expensive tool, Allahu Akbar.
Well with everything set up, I started spot welding. I am sure there were a few of the 72 virgins dancing on my shimmery pool of molten metal and I successfully filled up every spot weld.
With a little grinding and a coat of primer, it looks as good a new.
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