Okay I know what you are thinking, enough with the patriotic proselytizing. Bear with me. As I was digging into the parking brake subsystem and I mean subsystem, this is not just a couple of parts, it is a big process.
Of all the parts you can only see one and that one holds the parking brake components in the cab – the Parking Brake Support. When we took the cab apart two of the bolts broke because they were rusted in place. No big deal, I naively think. Ha ha, parts 13 cents, labor a thousand dollars!
As I am working on the Parking Brake Support it is time to remove the two snapped off bolts. The standard technique is to drill out the broken bolt and remove the remaining pieces. Well it is hard to hit the center of the bolt with a hand held drill and dull bits. I did drill two holes, “mostly” in the center, you remember what this means – not in the center. With a little work I was able to extract the remaining metal from the first nut and after I rethreaded the nut it was perfect.
But Mister Mechanic Man, you said there were two broken bolts, what about the other Bad Boy. Well I had to use the advanced technique which was to get a bolt extractor. Sounds easy, but of course I don’t have one, so off to The Home Depot I go to stimulate the economy. The made in China extractor set costs $9 and the made in USA set was $30. Stinginess overcame my better judgment. I mean aren’t they the same?
Well, the little voices in my head were at a consistent drone – you blew it Bubba! The way these tools work is that you insert them into the hole that is mostly centered and since they are opposite threaded, they catch on the bolt part and then you simply unscrew the part. What could be better, well that is the demo anyway.
In the reality show, I started twisting and had some good turns going especially since I was using a three foot cheater bar, I felt like Conan the Barbarian. In the mean time the voices in my head are screaming – STOP!!! But my testosterone fueled mind set was unstoppable.
You guessed it. The extractor broke. Look I work out at the gym and I moved up from the pink dumbbells to the light blue dumbbells just last week. Still I shouldn’t be able to break the extractor, after all it is made from super hardened steal. Remember your early Greek lessons, with a lever you can move the world, or at least break any tool or bolt.
Now back to the hardest metal in the universe. How do I now get the fragment out of the nut? Well I try to drill it out, however no drill bit I have can even scratch it after all it is made from Kryptonite.
Well when I took in my kingpins to R&R Speed Shop, I also brought in this problem. They said, sure we will have ol’ Hal look into it. Great, they have real tools so they should be able to do the deed.
Well mister frugal notices that the Parking Brake Support can be purchased for $40 dollars from the internet parts stores. I call R&R to ask how they are doing and mention this fact, they quickly abdicate and say I should buy it since it will take $80 for ol’ Hal to just look at it and he will probably just get it mostly fixed. Aggghh!
I am now on to plan D, Brian asks to play with it, what did I have to lose, he had to be better than ol’ Hal. Remember Brian has more Man tools than God, he takes his WWII flame thrower to the bolt and burns through everything. Turns out he uses a secret Ninja trick to only blow out the bad parts and leave the nut intact, sweet - you should see him toast marshmallows. He brings in the part the next day and it is perfect.
Next time I am buying USA tools from a Ninja. I promise.
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